


I Love You More Than Pie

by Bad Samaritan (quodpersortem)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Anal, Angst, Barebacking, Coming of Age, Denial of Feelings, Fingering, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M, Sex, Slow Build, handjob
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-27
Updated: 2013-04-27
Packaged: 2017-12-09 15:58:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/776047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quodpersortem/pseuds/Bad%20Samaritan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas has been in love with Dean for years, and everyone knows and keeps teasing him with it, especially because the feelings aren't returned. Or at least, that's what Cas thinks until Dean makes him sleep in his bed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sweet Impact

**Author's Note:**

> The first chapter is pretty tame with regards to sexual content. There is no nudity anywhere. The second chapter is the epilogue, and is pretty much all PWP, so read it at your own risk.

Castiel knows very well who he is.

He knows what he enjoys doing (reading, studying, listening to music) and what he enjoys eating (cheeseburgers and chips and sometimes he steals a couple of Gabe’s chocolates, though only when the mood strikes). He knows that he’s quiet and possibly anti-social and considered weird in school.

That’s fine, though. He has a good mind, which comes in handy when he has to study. He ignores the bullies and comments made behind his back, and the occasional paint on his locker, proclaiming him a ‘weirdo’ or ‘creep’.  
He thinks it’s fun to tease Dean a little when he shows up on school grumbling and with dark rings under his eyes. Gabe won’t ever shut up about which tricks Cas must be using to remember things so clearly and for such a long period afterwards. 

He knows that he liked Meg when they dated last year and that he doesn’t like her now, and that he’s only vaguely, if at all, interested in most of the other girls at school. Jo is an exception (although he doesn’t want to have sex with her because he—well, he just doesn’t) and—he thinks hard for a moment before deciding that, yeah, that’s about it.

This is okay because having no love interests means that he has more time to focus on school.

And so everything is fine, and Castiel feels good and certain of himself, until the day he doesn’t.

-

“Can you pass me the mashed potatoes?” Gabriel nearly shouts at Anna, even though there’s absolutely no use for it. It’s just the three of them at the table anyway. They’re eating together on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday, a tradition established a long time ago when their mother was still alive and well and their father hadn’t left them for weeks at a time to preach to minority groups in small cities.

“Come on, Gabriel,” she sighs, “I don’t want to mother you but if you keep acting this way it’s almost as though you _insist_ -“

“ I’m just _so_ happy!” Gabriel leans back in his chair and grins, his eyes unfocused. Cas rolls his eyes at Anna who just hands him the gravy.

“Yeah, but if you blast my eardrums I won’t be able to hear what you’re so happy about,” she sighs.

Gabriel seems to contemplate that for a moment and then turns to Cas. “You’d listen though, wouldn’t you?”

“Without a doubt,” Cas nods and then deadpans, “The sounds you would make as I cut off your tongue would be very enjoyable.”

“Come on, boys,” Anna says then. “Gabe, tell us what you’re so happy about and then finish your dinner. Cas, you eat now.” As if to demonstrate to the boys what they should be doing, she scoops up a forkful of mash and puts it in her mouth.

“I found love,” Gabe smiles happily, shoving the mash around on his plate. “Her name is Kali, she’s from India and she’s so fucking hot-“  
“Language, Gabe.”

“-So extraordinarily beautiful I would love to, eh, pop her cherry.”

Cas smiles a little at that, even though he knows Anna doesn’t appreciate the language. He’s seventeen and he hears Dean’s stories about his sex life all the time (at least, he does when they aren’t fighting, so that makes about 50% of the time they spend together). Still, it’s much less gross when it’s Dean talking about sex.

“Not that I know whether she’s actually a virgin, you know, but _damn_ , you should see her.” 

“And you should eat,” Anna points out. Gabriel scowls at her but shovels his mouth full with the mashed potatoes. For all that Anna is younger than Gabriel, she does act more mature. It still baffles Castiel, even after all these years of her practically raising her brothers.

With his mouth still full, Gabe asks, “Can we have dessert now?”

Anna and Cas have already finished eating and they know that Gabe’s never been one much for savory food so she gives in and nods. “Yeah. But _only_ if you help with cleaning off the table.”  
“Sure enough, ma’am,” Gabe salutes her and stacks the plates on top of each other. 

When Gabe is scooping up ice cream and Cas and Anna are eating their yoghurt and fruit, Gabe starts eyeing Cas. 

“What’s going on in your love life, actually?” he asks and Cas rolls his eyes again.

“Gabe, don’t,” Anna warns her brother.

“No, it’s okay,” Castiel says. “It’s fine. I mean, there’s no one. But that’s alright, I prefer to focus on my study anyway. I don’t mind.”

“So you haven’t got the hots for some beautiful young lady in school?” Cas shakes his head and Gabe starts to grin. “My, my, Cas. I had some suspicions but this just confirms it.”

“Gabe!” Anna interrupts again but now Castiel is curious.

“What about?” he asks, cocking his head to the side.

“Your sexuality, baby bro!” Gabe says it in a jovial way but Cas feels his stomach turn and the blood drain from his face. It isn’t so much that he does not accept homosexuality, because he _does_ \--he just doesn’t think _he_ is gay. 

“What?” he stammers and then sees that it’s not just Gabe who stares at him with a smile but Anna as well, a wistful look in her eyes.

“Cas,” Gabe says, his voice suddenly much calmer, “We know you’re gay. It’s okay, alright, don’t look so shocked-“

“That’s not why I’m shocked!” Cas shouts as he gets up, his chair screeching as he pushes it back on the tile floor. “Why would you _say_ that, I liked Meg, I just, why are you even thinking this? You are putting words into my mouth! I don’t have to prove I am a heterosexual, do I?”

“Calm your balls!” Gabe gasps dramatically, and this time he does earn a slap from Anna. “I didn’t know, okay? It’s fine. Just, calm down.”

“He’s right,” Anna confirms, “We didn’t realize you weren’t-“

“No, I am not and I am going upstairs now,” Cas utters and then gets out of the room as fast as he can.

He thinks about the long, lazy afternoons spent kissing Meg and wonders if he missed something important.

-

If he looks at Dean a little longer than at anyone else, even when they’re not talking to each other, well. That doesn’t make him gay, Cas decides. That’s just a normal part of puberty.  
He read somewhere that almost everyone finds themselves attracted to someone of the same sex at some point during their teens. Of course, his obvious choice would be Dean, because he’s the best looking guy in all-  
No, he’s definitely not gay.

-

Even when he starts waking up with sticky underwear several times each week, the fading images of Dean half-naked still playing in his head, he tells himself this doesn’t mean he is gay. Not even bisexual. It’s just a phase he’s going through and he can’t help it that Dean likes to pull off his shirt in the vicinity of Cas.

-

He’s spending the evening over at Dean’s. Dean also invited over a couple of girls. Jo’s present, of course, Lisa, and Ca-Carrie? Candice?-Dean’s new flavor of the week that has lasted fourteen days now, and who brought along two of her friends that have been ogling Cas all evening. He doesn’t meet their eyes, tries to talk only to Jo, Dean, and Lisa, and halfway through the night he realizes that he might be a little gay after all.

Dean is lying on the couch with Ca-something (Cassie, that’s it) on top of him and they look very into each other. Something that feels like dread unfurls in Cas’ stomach and he plays it off on being the only single guy and not particularly interested in any of the girls (too good of a friend, too much Dean’s type, too tall, too thin). 

Then he sees Jo stare at Dean and Cassie from the doorway, one third sad and two-thirds pain, and he realizes that she looks the way he’s feeling.

He knows Jo’s interested in Dean, she has been for years now. The morning she told him, the two of them watching Dean play soccer from the bleachers, had been sunny but cold, sometime early in April.  
Cas wonders if people can see it in his eyes too. If it might be why Meg left him, the way he stared whenever Dean walked past with his arm slung around some chick’s.

It’s like he’s falling into a sinkhole, swallowing him whole and threatening to choke him, so he grabs a bottle of whiskey and chugs down most of it during the remainder of night until he passes out on the floor.

Sam’s the one to find him in the bathroom the next morning, and he quietly sits down next to Cas. He holds his hair out of his face with a cold washcloth. It takes ages before Cas manages to suppress his gag reflex, drinking little sips o water, but when Dean walks past the bathroom with Cassie, Cas starts to retch again.

Sam just looks at him sadly, as if he knows exactly what he’s feeling.

For all Cas knows, Sam might know his little secret. It doesn’t matter. Dean’s straight and Cas claims he’s straight and nothing will change their world.

He’s eighteen and in love with his best friend. 

It sucks.

-

Cas dates girls, because he’s honestly not all that interested in boys. In fact, he’s actually not very interested in anyone but Dean, but Dean’s still dating pretty much everything that’s on legs and wearing lipstick and bras. Yet, dating someone allows him to hang out with Dean more often, because double dates aren’t as awkward as a date-with-friend-as-appendix. 

“You’re kidding me, get out!” Dean swoons on the other side of the table, in his full-flirt mode. The girl is still blushing at every smile Dean gives her; Cas guesses they haven’t seen each other more than twice. He knows that in a week time she’ll be yelling at him, or get frustrated, or maybe she’ll sit crying in her bedroom as Dean hunts down his next girlfriend or lay-of-the-night.

Cas isn’t talking much to Laura at all. They barely even know each other and they haven’t done anything besides a few close-mouthed kisses. He’s uncomfortable around her, and he’s even more uncomfortable right now. So when after two rounds of shots Dean and his girl are playing a game of tonsil hockey, Cas clears his throat and tells them, “I am sorry, I have to go.”

Dean nor the girl look up, and Laura follows him out of the boot with a relieved look on her face.

“I take it you’re not interested in me?” she asks, smiling a little as they stand outside the bar, waiting for their separate cabs.

“Not really, no. I’m sorry,” Cas apologizes, but she waves it off.

“It’s okay. I wouldn’t be either, if I had a friend like yours.”

Cas blushes but doesn’t correct her. Laura pulls him in for a hug and then tells him, “Take care, yeah?”

“Yeah. You, too.”

He doesn’t see her again.

-

Dean is a little angry with him for leaving him so suddenly. Castiel is surprised that Dean noticed at all.

They don’t talk much for a few weeks and Cas starts to think that whatever was going on, was temporary.

Then Dean invites him over for a movie night, just the two of them. Sam has invited himself along, lying on his stomach behind the couch until he sneezes halfway through the film. Dean shoos him away, but Castiel didn’t really mind. He’s okay with hanging out with Sam and Dean at the same time and sees Dean’s younger sibling as a friend, too.

When Sam’s gone to his room, they’re both sitting on opposite sides of the couch, carefully not touching. Dean only moves when he wants to take a swig from his beer and Cas has his beer placed on the floor and pulled his legs up on the couch. It’s fine, until Dean decides that he’s got cold feet and pushes them under Cas’ legs.

“What are you-Dean!” he almost yelps, feeling embarrassed immediately after.

“What!” Dean says disgruntled. “I just have cold feet, chill out dude. I’m not trying to come on to you.”

Cas hopes that the bright red color in his face doesn’t show in the flickering light of the TV. 

That Dean won’t hear the mad fluttering of butterflies in his stomach.

-

They fight a couple more times over their senior year, but not often enough to go to different Colleges. Cas has decided that he wants to study biology, having been fascinated by the way evolution works since he was a little boy, while Dean wants to learn how to be a car mechanic. It’s the obvious choice, of course, considering that he’s always got his sleeves rolled up and his arms down the Impala.

In the first week, they have an introduction camp and meet Benny. Cas thinks he’s nice, but he also feels like Benny prefers to hang out with Dean only. It makes him feel horribly twisted. He doesn’t want to claim Dean but ends up letting Dean hang out with just Benny a lot of the time. If things went the way he wanted—if he had the guts to speak up—he’d be over at Dean’s room more often. Far more. And preferably with Benny not even there.  
As it is, they prefer to go out without Cas, who has been dubbed their ‘token asexual’ after an introductory class on gender studies. He doesn’t bother correcting them, even though it’s not true.

Instead, he spends some time with Meg and Crowley, two people they also met at the camp. They are dating now, and they can be horrible and obnoxious and they don’t exactly share Castiel’s morals. At the same time, it definitely doesn’t feel as uncomfortable as he thought it would, and it can be fun. Sometimes.

In the first year Cas ends up talking to Dean so little that Dean gets a flat together with Benny, while Cas decides to move in with Crowley and Meg. 

Strangely enough does the additional distance that’s put between them nothing to actually let them grow apart, like Cas feared it might. It’s quite the opposite, in fact.

Dean starts hanging out with Cas more often again, and Cas isn’t sure if it’s just because he lives nearer to the city center like Dean tells him. It’s not like they don’t go out all that often, spending most evenings watching movies or playing video games instead.

It’s good though. Castiel doesn’t mind that Dean starts coming over more and more, especially since Meg and Crowley are away at least seventy percent of the time and fucking twenty of the other percent.  
-

At some point, Crowley casually mentions that maybe Castiel should just ask Dean out. That he won’t wait forever. They’re sitting at the small table in their kitchen, and Crowley is grilling a rare steak while Castiel is eating a cheeseburger he picked up from the fast food joint around the corner.

“Why?” he mumbles around a mouthful of food—it’s not proper etiquette but Cas supposes he’s got more of Gabriel in him than he thought previously.  
“Because,” Crowley drawls, “You two together would work.”

“No, it wouldn’t,” Cas smiles as he swallows down his food. “Because Dean is not gay and I-“

“You what?” Crowley interjects when Cas pauses for a moment too long. 

He shrugs and looks at Crowley. “He’s my friend, and I wouldn’t want a relationship with him.” Crowley rolls his eyes so Castiel walks out of the room, forcing the idea of ever starting a relationship with his best friend from his mind.

-

Dean and Cas have another massive fight a few months later. Things between Meg, Crowley and Cas haven’t been going as well as they did at the start and Dean really, really does not like Crowley. 

They have been fussing about it for a while now but it’s coming to a head now: Dean is shouting about how Cas should move out and Cas shouts back that he’s staying, even if that’s more out of principle and because he refuses to give Dean the satisfaction of being right. 

But then Dean shouts at Cas that he should know better, that he can _do_ better and Castiel shouts back that Dean is a bigoted asshole and should keep his opinions to himself because they are worthless anyway.  
That strikes a sensitive chord in Dean, his eyes immediately clouding over, and Cas feels like he’s been punched in the chest. “I’m sorry,” he says immediately after, “I didn’t mean it that way. Shit.”

“No, it’s fine,” Dean mumbles, “It’s okay. I just-“ he sighs, and Cas hates how crestfallen he looks. “I’m going to leave, you’re probably right anyway.”

“Dean-“ Cas tries to stop him, but Dean won’t listen. He shrugs Cas’ arm off his shoulder and walks out of the door.

-

He thinks and he thinks, and when he doesn’t hear anything from Dean during the next couple of weeks, Cas goes to see Dean at his place. Benny isn’t there when he steps into the room and he raises his eyebrows at Dean.  
“He transferred to a different Uni. Wanted to be closer to his family, or something.” 

“Are you sad about that?” he asks Dean, because it’s the polite thing to do.

“Nah, it’s fine,” Dean shrugs. “I didn’t see much of him anymore anyway. I’m gonna keep in touch with him, it’s good.”

After some more small talk, Castiel confesses, “You were right, I probably should move out. Crowley is an asshole and Meg has tried to make out with me twice now.”

“I told you so,” Dean scoffs at him. “Seriously, dude, you shouldn’t go back to them at all.”

“Why not?” Cas responds and Dean claps his hand on Cas’ shoulder.

“Because-“ he says, “They will eat you.”

Cas sighs and shakes his head. Dean will always joke about the things he doesn’t want to talk about.

He ends up sleeping on Dean’s couch anyway, wearing a borrowed shirt that smells so awesome that he can’t stop smelling at it.

Of course, though, he doesn’t stay away from his own apartment. No matter what Dean thinks, Crowley and Meg will not eat him. He’s pretty sure about that. 

It’s easy enough to tell them that he wants to move in with Dean, regardless of all the gay jokes that are immediately thrown at his head, and then he packs a bag that holds enough clothes to last him at least week, and definitely longer if he does his laundry regularly.

-

It’s strange to be living with Dean, to see his shampoo in the shower or catch a glimpse of Dean walking by in his underwear on a midnight toilet trip. He’s known Dean for long enough to feel welcome, comfortable. They have been around each other for so long that every movement they make around each other feels familiar.

Though, Cas concedes, that could also be because they barely even see each other; working with a typical end-of-semester stress.

Once, they watch a film together. Halfway through, Cas falls asleep. He wakes up in the middle of the night, his body still in an awkward half-sitting position that has given him a headache to end all headaches. At least Dean was kind enough to throw a blanket across his legs. He’s not sure why that makes him feel so grateful, because if it had been the other way around, he would have moved Dean around until he’d been comfortable (or at least broken up without an almost-hernia).

He still has to get his bed from Meg and Crowley’s apartment, but he’ll need Dean’s help with that and they’ve both been too busy.

-

On Friday evening, Dean decides to go out drinking.

Castiel stays home, preferring to read a book, perhaps watch a movie, and go to bed (well, the sofa that he’s pretty sure he can now claim as his own) early. He’s glad that another week is over, his first essays written and handed in, and the beer he’s had has pleasantly settled in his stomach.

He falls asleep with the television still on. Or he supposes he did, because he can’t remember turning it off and when he wakes up at three in the morning—Dean loudly stumbling into the room—the screen is showing a horrible seventies action flick. He turns off the screen and sits up to check on Dean.

“Dean, are you alright?” he whispers and his friend grins at him. 

“’m fine, Cas,” he says, “Fuckin’ great. Gonna go puke now.”

Cas sighs as he gets out of his makeshift bed. He gets the bucket from under the sink and then pads over to Dean’s bedroom, trying not to listen too closely to the sounds coming from the bathroom. When Dean enters, he does look a little more sober than before.

“Thanks, man,” he says, nodding down at the bucket. Then he collapses onto the bed, shuffling over to one side to make space for another body and says, “I’m cold.”

“And what do you want me to do about that?” Cas responds, trying to keep any emotion from his voice. In reality, his heart is hammering in his chest and his mouth has gone dry. It’s not something Dean hasn’t asked before, but it’s something Cas has never given him before. He wouldn’t have agreed to do it now either, if he hadn’t been so desperate to sleep in a real bed again. So he crawls in next to Dean, squeezing tightly together on the full sized bed. 

Dean shuffles around a little longer, and Castiel vaguely realizes that an arm is slung across his waist, but by then he’s already dozed off so far that he can’t be bothered thinking about what the consequences of that action might be.

-

When he wakes up the next morning, he’s alone in the bed. The space next to him is still warm, and when Cas focuses he can hear Dean busying in the bathroom—the flush of the toilet, the running of the tap. He is about to turn around and go back to sleep, still tired for some reason and convinced that Dean won’t return, when the door quietly opens again.

“You awake?” Dean whispers. Cas nods and Dean pads over to the bed, crawling back in under the covers. Sun is streaming in through a gap in the curtains and Cas stares at the dust drift by, focusing on anything but Dean beside him.

“I have a massive headache,” Dean then grumbles, and Cas is pulled from his reverie, looking down at his friend trying to press himself even closer to his chest—where his heart is beating frantically and he prays that Dean won’t notice. Instead of pushing Dean away though, like he thinks he would have on any other occasion, he slides down and pulls the covers across both their heads. Dean’s breath is minty fresh in his face and Cas can see his eyes glint in the dimmed light.

Castiel does feel a little awkward, unsure of where to leave his limbs, but Dean keeps looking at him and so he keeps looking back. Then Dean smiles sleepily and strokes his thumb along Cas’ jaw line, whispering something that sounds like ‘gorgeous’. Cas thinks he should have frozen in place, but he’s surprisingly relaxed, even when Dean’s thumb accidentally skits along Cas’ mouth. He can’t help the way his mouth drops open though, the way he stares at Dean because—he’s not sure if it was all that accidental. Not with the way Dean is looking at him.

But by the time he manages to process that, Dean’s already crowding closer. He presses their lips together, softly. It’s just a peck, really—and then another—but it’s enough to make Castiel blush and go warm under the blankets.

Dean notices, no doubt, because he laughs warmly and whispers, “I didn’t know you felt that way.” His lips brush against Cas’ as he speaks. “Didn’t think you ever would.”

Cas shakes his head in disbelief and says, “Everyone knew, Dean.” Dean looks a little shocked, so he continues, “People have been joking about my feelings for you since high school.”

Dean sputters, “What- Your- I thought that was because of _me_!”

Castiel snorts and feels a little embarrassed, but then Dean kisses him again. His lips are soft and dry against Cas’ own, slow and tentative until Castiel opens his mouth a little, slipping out his tongue because he needs to taste Dean. Dean responds in kin, the kiss deepening but staying as soft and tender and completely unlike Cas always imagined Dean to be.

Overall, it might be the most comfortable he’s ever felt around Dean.

They kiss like that for what feels like hours. At some point, they push the covers off, needing fresh air on their feverish skin. Dean’s hands are gentle on his face, his arm, slipping under his shirt, and when Cas shifts closer to Dean he can feel his erection press against his thigh; his own filling in response. When he presses back, though, Dean shuffles away from him. He wants to say something, feeling rejected and embarrassed.

Dean beats him to it. “C’mon, Cas… I’d love to, love to do that- but let’s not…” He kisses Cas again, his voice breathy and his hand back on Cas’ neck. “You’re new to this, I wanna take this slow, man.” That’s when Castiel realizes that Dean probably doesn’t want to overwhelm him (although he already _has_ ); that this is his way of telling Castiel it’s not some heat of the moment thing. 

Cas doesn’t intend to fall asleep, but it’s hard to not doze off because he’s so comfortable. Dean’s arms are wrapped around his waist and he has his own around Dean’s shoulder, holding each other close together. At some point, he moves around a little and accidentally knees Dean in the crotch, earning a sleepy glare from him before he closes his eyes again and presses his face further into Cas’ chest.

After almost two hours, he wakes up and finds Dean staring at him. He kisses Dean again, wondering what it means, if they are boyfriends now—until Dean’s warm hand slips under his shirt and starts to massage his back. Dean moves on top of Cas, their bodies pressed flush together, and although they’re both half-hard neither of them actively do anything about it. They just keep kissing.

When they do finally get out of bed, they eat a late-afternoon lunch in their PJ’s. Dean takes his coffee black and grimaces at Cas’ mention of something sweet, so they end up eating burgers. Cas has his tea still in front of him, the cup half empty, when they nestle onto the couch and put on a movie. 

Neither of them discuss this shift in their relationship, but halfway through the film, Dean takes hold of Cas’ hand and twines their fingers together.

Cas crawls back in bed next to Dean that night, the two of them lazily making out before they actually fall asleep.

-

They tell no one.

Cas does actually move all of his stuff out of the old apartment, and they exchange Dean’s single bed for Cas’ king size. It barely fits into the room, so they end up moving the closet to Benny’s old and even smaller second bedroom, along with Dean’s old bed. Dean jokingly calls it their “walk-in closet” and Cas mentions that they just got _out_ of it.

But in college, no one knows. It feels nice and private, to have no one know that they sit on the couch in the evening as Dean rubs his thumb over the back of Cas’ hand—as if he’s trying to assure himself it’s real, that Castiel is really there. 

-

Two weeks later, when the exams are over and they’re making out on the couch, it becomes pretty fucking obvious that they didn’t have to tell anyone at all anyway.

The doorbell goes, and when Dean opens it, Sam, Gabe and Anna all start to cheer. Gabriel’s holding a pie that says “congratulations” and Anna holds a bottle of vodka. It is not entirely full anymore (“Gabe’s fault,” Anna claims and Sam nods frantically). 

“Come on in,” Dean grunts, and Castiel knows that Dean would rather spend the evening with just him but he’s happy to see his brother and sister and hugs them tightly.  
“It’s good to see you,” he tells them and Anna smiles at him as Gabe ruffles his hair.

Later, when they’re all sitting in the living room, downing shots, Cas asks them, “How did you know?”

“You didn’t complain about each other for a while,” Anna says and Gabe starts grinning.

“We figured you were too busy taking it up the a-“ and Anna smacks him around his head. “Ouch! We just thought you were too _caught up_ in each other to send us messages. And hey, I totally called it!”  
“So they asked me if I’d gotten any complaints from Dean,” Sam slurs, his head lolling against Anna’s knee, “And I say, no I haven’t heard from him in, like, a week, and they decided we’d have to, like, go on a road trip. So now I’m here and you are here and Dean, Dean what I wanted to ask you-“

“A bucket to vomit into?” Dean snorts, and Cas sighs. 

“No, no, is the pie better than Cas?”

Dean buries his face in Cas’ neck at that, groaning loudly as the others start laughing. 

Later that evening, when they’re tucked into their bed, with Gabe and Anna sleeping in the sitting room and Sam in the hallway, Dean kisses Cas and tells him, “I do love you more than pie.”

“I love you too, Dean,” Cas whispers back.


	2. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gratuitous porn, PWP, whichever you prefer.

A couple of days after their family have left, they have returned to their daily grind. 

Cas isn’t able to focus though, he’s staring at Dean’s back; the inviting lines of his jaw line and neck. Dean keeps looking back at him, his eyes bright as he smiles smugly.

Eventually Cas crawls over to where Dean is sitting, amidst papers strewn across the floor. He kisses him and Dean hauls him even closer, dragging him down so they are lying on the floor. Cas is on top of Dean, and as he continues to kiss his boyfriend, he slowly rolls their hips together.

“Want you so bad,” he whispers in Dean’s ear, and Dean spreads his legs a little further in response, allowing Cas to slot in between them. “You look so good, I—Dean,” he sighs and kisses him again. Dean’s hands are gentle on his back and in his hair. He slips a hot hand underneath Cas’ shirt, warm and slightly sweaty against his skin. Cas grinds down again, groaning in time with Dean as their cocks rub together.

It doesn’t take long before Dean starts to pull at Cas’ shirt and Cas sits up to take it off. He rubs at Cas’ nipples before resting his hands on the juts of his hips. Cas has his own hands occupied as well—one of them rests on Dean’s stomach while he’s squeezing his ass with the other, forcing Dean’s hips up from the floor.

“Bedroom?” Cas offers in a moment of clarity when he stops kissing Dean. He really doesn’t want his first time with Dean to be in the middle of their living room, on the floor out of all places. 

“Thought you’d never ask,” Dean smiles and gets up. 

Cas does push Dean up against the closed door first, unable to resist kissing his neck and then down his chest, licking at one of his nipples before biting gently. Dean shudders and Cas grins, tugging a little, and then Dean hauls him close again, kissing him deep. 

“Fuck. You’re so sexy, Cas,” he says as he opens the door behind him and leads Cas in. They’ve been actually sleeping here together for a while now, but still Cas feels a little thrill when Dean sits down on the bed and guides him into his lap. Cas’s pants are slipping down his hips and his erection is pushing his underwear out at the V of his zipper, pressing the head of his cock against Dean’s belly. They both look at it for a while, Cas grinding his clothed cock into Dean’s stomach, before they silently decide that jeans are really unnecessary. 

Dean shrugs off his own, standing in his underwear, and then pushes his body against Cas’ again. “You sure you really want this?” he asks, flicking his tongue against Cas’ ear.

“Dean, what do you think is currently pressing against your hip?” Cas growls back, emphasizing his words with a thrust against Dean’s pelvis. “A banana? Of course I want this.”

“Just wanted to make-“

“I’m sure, Dean, “ Cas pushes against Dean again and this time, he can feel Dean’s hands slip over his bare ass and then further down, taking his jeans and underwear with him, down his thighs and then Dean kneels and helps Cas step out of his clothing. He’s facing Cas’ cock, hard and glistening at the tip, and when Dean looks up Cas fists a hand in Dean’s hair and says, “Please.”

It’s not what he intended to say, but it’s what he’s thinking, and then the tip of his dick slips into Dean’s mouth. He closes his eyes, a shudder running through his body, and he feels Dean moan vibrate around his cock. Just as soon as the wet hot heat was there, it’s gone again, and then Cas is maneuvered onto the bed. Dean pushes him down onto his back and then shoves down his own underwear. His cock bobs up, fat and heavy, and Cas gasps at the sight of him, another rush of arousal shooting through his veins.

“Like it?” Dean gasps; his cheeks are flushed as he grabs himself and starts to jerk off lazily.

“You look amazing,” Cas responds in kind, following Dean’s lead. His own hand on his cock feels great and he absently wonders if it’s going to end here—and that that would be somewhat of a disappointment. 

“You gonna come soon?” Dean asks, and Cas shrugs. He will, though, with Dean’s eyes trained on him like that. Dean looks up and down his body and Cas all but bucks up into his own fist, gasping for air as Dean smirks.  
“Okay, yeah, I guess I will,” Cas mutters, and then Dean’s hand closes around his wrist—sticky, Cas realizes belatedly, with precome. Dean’s. “Shit, Dean,” he murmurs and then he pulls Dean in for another kiss. They manage to push themselves further up the bed, so Cas is at least resting his head on a pillow. Dean keeps a space between their hips so only the tip of his cock occasionally brushes Cas’, trailing precome against it until Dean shifts again and the contact’s gone.

“You look so good, Cas,” Dean whispers again, reaching for his bedside drawer while keeping his eyes locked with Cas’. “So pretty, so hard for me, I never thought I’d have you like this.”

Cas is almost trembling with want underneath Dean and he’s _this_ close to grabbing Dean’s hips and tugging him down, when Dean curses and lowers himself onto Cas.

“What’s wrong?” Cas asks him through his gasp, their cocks finally rubbing together. He almost lets go right there, desperately thinking of the queen of England of quarries of quads of quails-

“Need the lube,” Dean says, even though that doesn’t seem to keep him from desperately rutting against Cas. “Nicer handjobs.” He pushes his hand between their bodies and circles his hand around both their cocks, and Cas is moaning again. “Want to touch you all the time, your pretty cock, you feel so good,” Dean keeps talking and Cas takes a deep breath.

“I’ll get it for you—I think I can reach it from here, anyway—but please stop moving or talking because if you don’t I’m gonna-“ he trails off, reaching for the drawer.

“You’ll what?” Dean grins smugly and this time Cas sighs, pushing himself up the bed and away from Dean’s grasp.

“I’ll come. And I don’t want to yet.” He doesn’t look at his boyfriend as he says it, but he can feel Dean relax a little on top of him. His cock is hard against Cas’ thigh, which is more than okay, and at least the loss of contact gives Cas some time to focus.

He has to shove some papers aside to find the tube and—sees something bright red lying beside it. Curiously, he picks it up instead of the slick, eyes widening as he realizes it’s a vibrator. “Dean-“ he stammers and Dean lazily looks up from where he was resting his head on Cas’ stomach.

He’s blushing now, too, but he doesn’t attempt to take the thing from Cas’ hand.

“I-“ he mutters, and then confesses, “I wanted to know what it felt like.”

Cas wonders if Dean can feel his cock twitch where it’s pressed between their stomachs.

“When?” he asks Dean, expecting his answer to be something like ‘two weeks ago’.

“Stole it from a girl,” Dean’s blush deepens and Cas drops the vibrator back into the drawer. Before the sick feeling that he is experiencing has any chance to settle, though, Dean adds, “Freshman year.”

“Who were you thinking about?” Cas frowns.

“You’re an idiot,” Dean sighs even as he smiles fondly, and it takes a couple of seconds for Cas to register that Dean’s talking about him here.

“Oh,” he says.

“Yeah, _oh_ , you dumbass,” Dean presses his face into Cas’ stomach, bucking his hips against Cas’ thigh. Cas can feel a drop of Dean’s precome dribble down his skin and quickly takes out the tube. 

“To be entirely fair, so are you,” Cas says as Dean unscrews the cap from the tube. Then Dean’s hand is on his cock, cold and wet with slick, and he bucks up so hard that he almost smacks Dean’s jaw against his stomach. “Ohh,” he shivers and then Dean aligns his own cock with Cas’ again. His hand moves fast and every time Cas thinks he can’t take much more, that he’s going to come now, no _now_ , _now_ , Dean slows down enough to take off the sharpest edge.

“If you hurry,” Cas groans, “I’m going to come.” It doesn’t make any sense and he knows it but Dean leans in and kisses him before sitting up on Cas’ hips. He’s still fucking both of their cocks with his fist, and Cas realizes he’s putting on a show. “You don’t have to put yourself on display like that,” he tells Dean, putting his hands on Dean’s thighs. 

“Oh I do,” Dean grins smugly, slowing down his strokes again. “Where’s the lube?” Cas hands it to him without asking and expects Dean to shock him with another cold handful of it on his cock (even though there’s plenty there already, and precome is leaking freely too by now) but he doesn’t.

Instead he squirts it onto his hands, lifts himself up and, balancing himself with his free hand on Cas’ chest, works his hand past his own balls and-

“For god’s sake, Dean!” Cas almost shouts in shock because he hadn’t thought that Dean, after all of his initial reluctance, would go this far this fast. “You don’t have to do _that_ -“

Dean interrupts him. “Cas, I want to.” The blush is still fierce on his cheeks as he fucks back on his fingers. Cas isn’t sure how many he’s got worked in there, his view blocked by the rest of Dean’s arm, but he knows it’s not Dean’s first time he’s done something like this and-

“Oh god do you want to have me last three seconds tops?” he says, horrified. It’s ridiculous and he knows it—Dean won’t care if Cas can’t take much more than that, but it’s a matter of sudden masculine pride he feels.  
“If it makes you feel any better,” Dean groans, “I doubt I’ll last much longer.” He sits back down on Cas’ thighs with his fingers still up his ass, and looks at him with his green eyes sparkling. “Do you want to do this or not? Because it’s okay if you don’t, I just—It’s—With girls I always-“

“You’re used to having penetrative sex right away?” Cas guesses and Dean scrunches up his face.

“I didn’t want to put it like that, but, yeah.”

“I don’t mind, Dean,” Cas tells him, trying to soothe the worry from Dean’s mind while trailing his fingers over his thighs. He moves them a little further back, pushing them against Dean’s balls—against the skin stretching around his fingers. His own cock twitches. Then he looks straight at Dean, who’s still staring at him wonderingly. “Go ahead,” he whispers, dropping his voice as he bucks his hips up, and Dean’s eyes widen a little so Cas figures he’s done something right. “I want you, Dean, whichever way I can have you.”

“I love you, Cas,” Dean chokes out as he leans forward, sliding his fingers from his ass and grabbing Cas’ cock. It feels a little unconventional to say the words right now, but that’s something he and Dean have never been before so Cas sees no point in changing now.

“I love you too, Dean,” he says, and then his cock is pressing against Dean’s hole. He’s torn between whether he should watch Dean’s face, flushed and focused on Cas, or his cock, Dean’s fingers around it, guiding him in inch by inch. The feeling is unlike anything he’s felt before—but above everything else, love surges through his body.

Finally, Dean bottoms out and Cas’ entire cock is encased in glorious, glorious tight heat. He’s clutching at Dean’s hips and they’re panting in unison, staring at each other for what feels like an eternity until Dean shifts a little. A moan tumbles from Cas’ lips, and Dean smiles at him before he pushes himself up and lets gravity do the work.

He sets a slow rhythm, and Cas tries to keep his hips still while he stares at Dean in awe. It’s as if the entire world has fallen quiet around them—this is their entire universe, and it’s just the two of them, right here, right now. Dean covers one of Cas’ hands with his own, entwining their fingers as he whispers, “Faster?”

“Yeah,” Cas says, his voice gruff and finally he allows himself to move. When Dean grinds down, he pushes up, and Dean moans—then looks a little shocked at it. “Is that good for you?” Cas asks him and Dean nods so he does it again, again, again.

His orgasm is building fast now, heat expanding in his stomach and sending tingles to his fingers, his toes, his head. He’s moaning under Dean as he bucks up, watching his cock move in and out of his boyfriend, moaning louder as Dean fucks down harder. He almost shouts when Dean’s hand lets go of Cas’ and tangles in his hair instead, pulling lightly. The pin-pricks of pain counteract the pleasure in his body, and then he’s holding on to Dean tightly, flooding into him as his entire body clenches up, coming for what seems like forever until finally his body slumps down onto the bed and he can open his eyes again.

Dean is still sitting on his cock, with his mouth opened and his hand stripping his cock. “You look fantastic,” Cas tells him, the words probably coming out garbled but he doesn’t care because Dean seems to like this. “You look great, sitting on my cock like that, god, do it faster Dean, you know you want it faster-“

“Christ, Cas,” Dean chokes on the words and then he comes, shooting thick ropes of come all the way up Cas’ chest. Cas can feel him tremble on top of him and kneads his thighs while Dean jerks himself off through his orgasm. A few of the last drops slide down his fingers, dripping into the wiry hair at the base of Cas’ cock and then Dean shudders, carefully pushing himself up and off Cas. 

Cas wipes himself down with a tissue and then Dean settles beside him, an arm slung across his chest. He looks sleepy and satisfied, so Cas smiles at him and rakes a hand through his hair.

“That felt great, Dean,” he says and then frowns because it’s not quite what he wanted to say. “It was great, all of it.” And it’s difficult, finding the right words, because, “I love you,” is true too but still not enough.

Regardless, Dean opens his eyes up at him and kisses him gently. “I thought so too,” he says, settling his naked body a little more firmly against Cas’. “I want to do this with you every day, the rest of our lives.”

“Me too, Dean,” he whispers, even as he feels that he’s agreeing to a lot more than Dean just said. “Me too.”


End file.
